Mommin’ ain’t easy!! If anyone says it is, run far far away. They’re lying and will probably be struck by lightening. Because I know for a fact that motherhood will test your gangsta in ways you can never imagine, however, it is the most fulfilling thing I’ve ever done. These two beautiful souls I have been blessed with are the ultimate reward for the ultimate sacrifice. I don’t have the luxury of being a stay at home mom (SAHM), but I’m truly grateful for a thriving career that I love. Shoutout to the SAHMs! That’s a job or 3 within itself. I said that to say that being a working mom adds a whole ‘nother level to the motherhood game. Having kids who are active in extracurriculars adds another. And heaven forbid you love your significant other and actually want to spend time with them too. LAWD!!! There really isn’t enough time in the day, week, or month to keep it all together. I’m often asked, ‘How in the world do you do it?’ Well, I’m no expert, and I’m still learning with each passing day, but the answer is easy: I’m wonder woman reincarnated. OK. I’m kidding, but I might have a few tips that could help.
A Good Partner/Village
This is NUMERO UNO! I could not do half of the things I do if it weren’t for a great, active partner. One who picks up the slack when my gold bracelets aren’t working properly. One who wants me to succeed in life, including in this here blog world. One who allows me to take some time to myself and rest when needed. It’s truly priceless, and I can’t imagine life without it (shoutout Dr. Superman)! The village of loved ones is just as important. There are no words for a strong village that can be called on to celebrate important moments and during times of need. Being the mom of a teen and an infant, I know I can’t be everywhere all of the time, and I absolutely love that I have a village that I can count on to stand in the gap.
This is crucial. By now, I have ladybug on a schedule and she sticks to it (for the most part). My oldest is pretty low maintenance and has a schedule of his own. I have an established daily routine/schedule for myself (especially on work days). I prep things at night to save time in the mornings, and I plan out meals for the week (either on paper or in my head) on Sundays. Let me add that I use Blue Apron and Hello Fresh quite often to take some of the guesswork out of the weekly dinner planning. If you haven’t tried it, you definitely should! Without these schedules/routines, I’d really be a hot mess. And truthfully, if get bitten by the lazy bug and slack on these, I AM a hot mess. Sometimes I have my days planned out to the hour. Planning and good schedules are EV-ER-Y-THING! I cannot stress that enough.
Be a Little Selfish
I am NOT ashamed to say that this mama is a little selfish. Yes, I have children, but they don’t run my life. I run theirs, and I’m hyper-vigilant about my self care. Not sorry. Motherhood comes with it’s own unique identity, so it is really important to me that I keep my identity as Quaneshia. Inside and out. While being a mother has refined me and made me a much better woman, I know that I can’t be my best self if I don’t take care of ME. As mothers, we are nurturers by nature and will often fall into the hole of taking care of everyone else and putting our needs on the back burner. We can’t pour from an empty cup ladies, so self care is truly the best care. For example, I wake up between 4:45 and 5am most work days. Why? Because I want that time to myself before I become mom, NP, babe, etc. I use that time for devotions, journaling, workouts, making sure my makeup is on point, or putting an extra curl or two in my hair. Whatever your thing is, take time to do it. I’m serious about my biweekly mani/pedi and quarterly spa appointments too. This makes me feel good. I’m saying all of this to say, taking care of myself mentally, spiritually, and physically helps me to take care of my family better. There’s an old saying: If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. I agree in the words of my buddy 2 Chainz, Truuuuuuuuu!
Photography :: Michael Butler, Jr.
According to Q, ain’t no hood like Motherhood! My mom game has been going strong for 15 years because I swear by these 3 things. Hopefully these tips help you tweak your #momlife (if needed) and we all can mom like bosses! I hope all of the moms had an awesome Mother’s Day yesterday!
Cheers to motherhood! There’s truly nothing like it!