The Art of Letting Go

As we dive into this new year and decade, everyone’s focus centers around what we’re leaving in the old year and not carrying into the new one.  But truth be told, it’s easier said than done. So much so, most people who resolve this whole list of things find the list to be null and void come Feb 1.  Throw the whole list away!!! Being able to let something go, leave something behind, or break old habits is hard.  Period.  I recently had an experience with this before the year’s end and wanted to share my perspective.

When in a yoga class, my amazing instructor offered these words of wisdom: Be A Bowl.  Sounds a little silly, but hear me out.  A bowl is a concave vessel used to hold things.  The purpose is to be filled.  Now picture yourself as a keeper of things with a purpose to be filled.  Life will fill us with lots of things. Worry. Stress. Financial hurdles. Divorces and separations.  Homes without peace.  Toxic friendships and relationships.  Workplace drama.  Unfulfilling careers. The list could go on and on.

As a new year begins, most of us are taking inventory of our bowls and deciding what is adding to our lives in a positive way and what is weighing us down with negative vibes.  Some of our bowls are filled with the things that no longer serve us, and we must make the decision to get rid of the things that simply take up space in our hearts, minds, and spirits. Again, easier said than done, but when we can think through it with less emotion and more logic, then and only then can we truly LET GO! It’s an art than many of us don’t know how to deal with until we are forced to.  That is, until we find ourselves with symptoms of depression.  Or we’re torn apart on the inside with anger and bitterness. Or we literally get to the point of being sick and tired (stress will do that, you know?)

Look in the mirror and be completely honest with yourself. Cut the BS and have a real conversation about your wants and needs, what has to go, and what needs to stay. We must be able to let go of the bad so that we can make room to be filled with the good. Positivity.  Affiirmations.  Manifestations.  Peace.  Love (self and others).  Kindness.  Anything that lifts you up.  We tend to focus more on “what used to be” rather than what this thing is presently offering us.  If it doesn’t encourage growth, it’s gotta go.

So how do we do let go? Ask yourself these questions: Have I done everything I can with this thing/person? Have I really tried? Have I put all of my emotional abilities into this thing/person? Am I at peace with this thing/person NOT being in my life?

JOURNAL | One way to help gather your thoughts is through journaling.  Journaling presents the opportunity for you to document your thoughts in an uninhibited way. You can weight options or simply vent. Journaling allows us to clarify thoughts, learn more about self, and is actually a stress reliever. Once you jot down what your thinking, you’ll feel much better and the magic comes when you go back and read the things you wrote as it usually presents a very clear argument about what you should keep and what you should let go.

CRY CHILE! | Another way to master the art of letting go, is to cry it out. We try to hold our emotions in.  Why?  Crying doesn’t make you any less strong. It’s ok to physically grieve the loss of something.  Let it out and don’t force yourself to hold it in.  Focus on your needs and know that this is a natural response.

PLAN, PLAN, PLAN! | Make a plan and work it! Just saying you need to let go of something is not enough. Simply putting it on a list isn’t either. Literally write it down along with the steps needed to make it happen. Want to lose 10 lbs, the plan is change your diet and increase exercise. But focus on the small steps it will take. Meal prep. Grocery lists. Packing gym bag at night so you can change clothes at work and hit the gym right after. A plan. Leaving it up to chance will keep those pounds on and those bowls full of all of the things we don’t need.

POSITIVITY | Focus on the positive and what will you be gaining.  We often will pay more attention to the negative.  Instead, shift your perspective.  Where can I move with the freedom? What can I do that I haven’t done? Write a bucket list for the next 6-12months. Do a vision board. Whatever.  Just focus on the possibilities. Some days will be great.  Others won’t.  But guess what? Tomorrow always comes and that’s another day/ chance we get to choose our response. I’m choosing happiness. Joy. Peace. All of the things that make my life better.

Photo Cred : Shamika Blocker

Are you a bowl?

What are you full of?

What do you need to let go?

Are you up for the task?

New year. New you, right?

THE LEWK :: Pants – Boutique in NOLA | Top – Express | Bag – Kate Spade (old)