Karis’ Clubhouse | 2nd Birthday + A Birth Story

My ladybug is 2 and we had a pretty swell birthday party to celebrate her! Mickey Mouse Clubhouse was the theme and we had 10 toddlers present and ready to have a great time along with geandparents, aunts, and cousins. Of course, everyone got ears (say cheers!) and I’m pretty dang proud of the balloon garland I made myself.  We received great feedback from the parents about how much fun the kids had with the activities.  The teacher in me always comes out at kids parties, so as they came in, there were mickey and minnie coloring sheets ready for them to start on while waiting for the other guests.  Since her bday is so close to Christmas, I always try to include a Christmas craft.  This year, they decorated an ornament with stickers (Christmas and Mickey/Minnie to keep it within theme).  They also has a surprise visit from life-size Minnie Mouse, which did not go over well with quite a few of them, ladybug included. Anywho, added a little dance party and it was a good time!

Her birthday always makes me think of her actual day of birth (obviously) and this year, I realized that I never shared her birth story.  This has been written for 2 years and is nothing exciting, really.  I laugh when i think about it because I had this whole vision (you know, since I was 40 and preggo and maybe called extra a time or two). My room would be fragrant with essential oils, my face would be naturally glowing (ala a Beyonce’s prelabor beat…she was flawless when Blue Ivy was born), and the room would be full of my family and the Auntie Squad (aka Talls & Smalls).  1 out of 3 isn’t bad.  Here we go:

Picture it. Tuesday, Dec 11, 2017, 11 o’clock post meridian. I had just laid down after a long day. Fresh out of the shower with freshly twisted hair. She gone be cute tomorrow. Lights out.  Keep in mind, my due date was still 3 days away.  Not even 5 minutes later…Did I just pee on myself?? Orrrrr, is this that “my water just broke” feeling? Crap. It is and it won’t stop. So yes. My water just broke. Danggit! I was about to sleep so good.

11:03pm. G is asleep. Don’t wake him up yet.  Maybe I should shower again because I don’t like this? Grab a towel genius. You’re getting the floor wet. Ok. Maybe not take a shower and change pants. Grab the bag. Wake G. His azz is knocked out. Get up!!!! “Aye mane, my water just broke.” He jumps up like he’d been waiting on those words his whole life. It was actually kind of funny & sweet.  Call mom to come and be with Kam because he has school tomorrow.  She’s on the way.  It takes a village folks.  Grateful for mine.

Hospital is literally 5-7 minutes down the street.  I’m checked in at 11:40pm.  Litmus paper test shows it is indeed amniotic fluid and I’m 2cm dilated. Ok. Here we go. Just like riding a bike. Except the first time my water didn’t break. Contractions aren’t bad right now, but a sista IS feeling them.

To the Room I go. It is now 12:48am on Dec. 12th. Contractions are 2-3 mins apart and not terrible, but I am having to breathe through them. One just hit me at 8-9/10. Whooooo. Ok.  I’m a G, but I ain’t crazy. Its time to hit me up. Garçon, epidural por favor. Don’t look at me like that! No one gets any extra money or awards for not using anesthesia. So, here’s my back. I’m ready. And to think, I was thinking about a water birth. Bye Felicia.

Epidural around 1:45 am.  Went from 2-6cm in about 4 hrs and slept goodt!!! Lavender and lemongrass essential oils are diffusing. All is calm. Ladybug where ya at?

6am My doc (who is amazing) arrives and I’m 7cm!! Woohoo. Keep working ladybug.  Sleep again because what else do I have to do?  Hopefully we have us a ladybug by 9. Not in a hurry, but I’m ready to meet her. See her little button nose. Count her fingers and toes.

8am been stuck at 9.5cm for a while…really Karis??? Are you trying to come or what shawty???!  Dr says “let’s Start a slow pitocin drip”. Welp. Don’t really want that, but here we are. Just don’t give me too much.

10:15am I’m finally 10cm!! The pitocin worked! Time to push. Let’s do this! let’s have a baby. Come on ladybug. Mommy & Daddy are ready for you.  Uh oh, she’s a big one and her head/shoulder (or something) is stuck at my pelvic bone. Maybe the ultrasound tech lady from last week was right. I can’t get that 8lb 13oz (plus or minus 1 lb) out of my head. I didn’t believe I incubated a baby that dang big. Guess I’m going to need to tap into my inner wonder woman to get her out because I’m not trying to hear cesarean. At. All. Nope.  Pushing. Pushing. Pushing.  Ok. Here comes the oxygen. Push some more.

Here’s her head! Whoooohooooo! I can literally feel it, but I’m told to pause. Stop pushing my doc says.  Say what?!?!? I’m ready to get her out of here mane. Gotta let the doc get his gear on. Oh ok. I want everything sterile. Cleaniness is next to godliness. OK, let me relax then. Me and my oxygen (say it like Madea would say it…ha!) Wish I can put some lavender essential oils in this mask, but it’s already diffusing in the room. Guess that’s enough.

Ok. Here we go!!! G’s on the left.  Nurse of the right. Doc is in position to catch her.  Just. A. Few. More. Pushes. My ladybug is here!!!!! She slid right out without any major damage to the lady parts. Insert praise emoji. Skin to skin. She’s finally here. Ahhhh I’ve been waiting to meet you little lady!!!! Head full of hair (my reward for all of the heartburn). All 10 fingers and toes are present and accounted for.

Ok let’s put her on the scale. 9lbs 15oz. I.K.Y.F.L. I demand a recount. Lady do it again! 9lbs 15 oz. Oh, she’s serious serious. I just pushed out a whole 10 lb baby! Insert dramatic faint. Also insert me coming back to and dusting shoulders off with Jay Z playing in the background. G status has been achieved. I’m the real MVP!!  And I only gained 32 lbs, 10 of which was baby. So that makes me down to 22 lbs. and I can attribute a lot of that to these milk jugs attached to my chest. Working out my whole pregnancy, well until i was almost 8 months, helped. It was a personal goal and in no way related to any societal standard. Just FYI.

I did good. We did good. It wasn’t the vision of perfection I had (with the room full of people), but it was perfect. Karis Noelle was perfect.

And now she’s 2 talking me to death and loving Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Mac n Cheese, Baby Shark (Lord, make it stop!), her play purse & cell phone, and the word No. Send help! She’s my sweet little ladybug and I’m having a total blast