Negative Review

I’m writing this post because I’m feeling a little some kinda way-ish.

It started when a patient told me they googled me and they’re glad they found me. Picture me feeling myself and in my head I’m doing shoulder jig Beyonce’ does in the intro to Girls. Did you do it? Ha! So I googled myself later and stumbled upon a negative review. Now I’m ready to start swinging the bat and breaking stuff like she did in Hold Up. Not that I can’t have a bad review, I’ve had them before, but I just didn’t know I had one recently. And it was pretty harshly written. Like dang. I take a lot of pride in what I do daily and although there were and have been countless glowing reviews, that one kind of stung. Not kind of. It stung.

And then to add insult to injury, I became aware of some people who unfollowed me. Unfollowing in the social media world happens all the time. No biggie there but I was told why they unfollowed, and again I’m like dang. Here I am thinking that I’m out here doing good in the world and BOOM! I took this as another negative review. Now, I consider myself a pretty positive person, but despite that, I don’t want to hear anything bad about myself. No one does.

So now what?? I’ve read it and heard it. Does it change anything? Yes but nope. Why? Glad you asked.

DIFFERENCES | I’m not everyone’s cup of tea but I can be plenty of people’s glass of Prosecco. A really expensive, slightly sweet one. Not everyone will like me, what I say, what I wear, my IG posts/stories, etc. AND THAT IS PERFECTLY OK! We are all different and still beautifully made. That’s what makes the world go ‘round, right? We need different perspectives to help us learn, but most importantly it helps us to self-reflect. Was I really out of line? Did I mean it that way? Could I have said/done it differently? It takes a certain level of maturity to understand that differences don’t always have to be a negative thing.

CONSIDER THE SOURCE | When we hear or see anything negative, we always have to consider the source of information. I’m not using Wiki as a research resource for a journal article that I want published. So with the negative review, I had to consider who it came from and why it was written. The source: a disgruntled patient who didn’t get what she wanted. Sadly, in our society, the entitlement is real and no one likes to be told no. And before any understanding can occur or solutions be discussed, many will become keyboard warriors and leave negative cyber ink on the pages of the World Wide Web. Having said this, I felt much better once I considered the source. You can please some of the people some of the time, but it’s impossible to please everybody all of the time. Plus if I have a few negative reviews out of 25, My shooting percentage would still be pretty high. Gosh I miss basketball!

REMAIN 💯 | No matter what, I can only be me. We can only be who we authentically are. If not, eventually the real us will show up. Because of this, that one negative comment can drown in a sea of positivity that I choose to exude and what others pour into me. The reason why people follow me is the exact reason why someone else might choose to unfollow. I respectfully say, it’s all good, but I’m going to always be true to myself and my purpose. Here I was thinking that I was helping folks look at health and wellness through a different lens, and someone takes that the wrong way. I know that I can’t apologize for good intentions just because someone has a different opinion. I was given the chance to explain myself and I felt much better once there was an understanding. I’m certainly going to continue to always do my best and operate in excellence because like the OG church folk know, the world didn’t give me this joy and the world can’t take it away.

Photos :: Kim Thomas

Dress : Zara (old) | Trench : Target (old) | Shoes : Nine West | Bag : Benenate

You can be layered up in the coolest way and recreate this work outfit to beat the summer heat. Grab an easy sheath dress in any color (like this one) and add a sleeveless vest or trench. I went with a neutral palette, but regardless snake print would fit the bill. Keep the jewelry minimal + add your favorite work bag and you’re ready to take over the office in style.

According to Q, we’ve got to be able to take a lick and keep on ticking. A negative review might sting a little, but it provides an opportunity for us to appreciate a different perspective, learn, and grow.

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8 Comments

  1. Susan
    June 17, 2020 / 1:16 pm

    Well said! I especially like the paragraph about differences. Being around people with different life experiences, different perspectives gives us the opportunity to learn and keep our minds, hearts and ears open.

    • Quaneshia
      Author
      June 17, 2020 / 2:48 pm

      Being open is the most important part!

  2. Channon
    June 17, 2020 / 2:13 pm

    Well dang that’s a shocker to me as well, but like you said you ain’t err’ bodies cup of tea. Me personally I enjoy reading your blog and your IG feed. I get my fix and a few laughs with you. Keep on keeping on. Until the next time.

    • Quaneshia
      Author
      June 17, 2020 / 2:48 pm

      Thanks so much Channon!

  3. Andrea
    June 17, 2020 / 6:20 pm

    I always look at negative thoughts as a comeback for growth or self assessment as how I could have done it differently Don’t get me wrong it definitely hurts like hell when u first learn about it! For me I know I can come off aloof but that’s me and I mean no harm it’s just my culture and my candidness. So I try but you can’t please every damn body. We love your posts and I definitely love your NP chronicles with a cup of tea!!

    • Quaneshia
      Author
      June 17, 2020 / 9:53 pm

      Thank you so much!!! There’s always room for growth and that’s the best part

  4. June 17, 2020 / 9:50 pm

    I’ve learned to take everything that’s ever said about me (and others) with a grain of salt. We never know the full circumstances surround why people come to a conclusion of xyz about a person, so even if I may side eye, I still try to start everyone off with a clean slate. I am also thankful that I’m self aware enough to really look at someone’s critique of me; I know I ain’t for everybody, BUT, being able to look past harsh words in some instances helped me grow as a woman. You know your heart and that you never come from a place of malice, so I hate you for a negative review, but, you know what? They just made room for more of your true tribe members to find you.

    • Quaneshia
      Author
      June 17, 2020 / 9:54 pm

      That last part gave me life Kim! Thank you!

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